There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
