Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize