I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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