Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
