ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
