he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
