she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
