just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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