Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize