So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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