my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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