We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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