You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
