What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
