My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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