I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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