Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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