Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
