so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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