Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
