Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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