her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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