I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
