This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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