Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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