You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
