Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize