I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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