My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
