i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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