What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
