Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
