remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
