i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
