like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
