I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Randomize