Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
