So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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