After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
