fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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