the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
