Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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