just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just high enough for therapy.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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