I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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