for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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