I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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