Acid is not a monday night drug
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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