I'm really into asian looking animals
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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