cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
