So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
