hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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