So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
