If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Who died my cat blue again?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
