Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
