I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
