So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i wish my penis had a tongue
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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