Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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