hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
